I’m hearing so many men are feeling angry and depressed at all the articles about toxic masculinity. Masculinity shouldn’t be confused by gender. It isn’t the same. Being a man does not equal being masculine.
Being masculine, women can and often do express masculinity. Men often express or show femininity.
I don’t use toxic masculinity much in my articles, for the most part, that is such a vague topic. It can go anywhere. Masculinity, in general, is a very vague subject. What if Healthy Masculinity wasn’t so hard?
I’m writing about healthy masculinity because sometimes you have to go with where people are. For the sake of this article, I’ll express masculinity in the male form.
Toxic masculinity has been around since the beginning of time. Chimps expressed many traits such as rape, domestic violence, possessiveness, and jealousy. Though we have Chimp genes that doesn’t excuse the eons of time that we have had to un-do those toxic and unhealthy behaviors and yet we haven’t.
Healthy masculinity is where emotional maturity comes into play. That takes work unless you had healthy behaviors expressed as a child by your parents. For those of us that did not have healthy examples, we have to work on overcoming our conditioning. Decide to be healthy!
To explain healthy masculinity would be a very long article. I’ll assume in this article that you understand what healthy emotionally mature men do. ( that is another article).
Healthy masculinity can reveal it’s self at the beginning of the relationship where there is a period of time where “best behaviors” are exhibited. So it isn’t like men do not know how to be healthy masculine men, many do. If they really sat with it and took an honest look.
The issue is the conditioning they had growing up isn’t questioned and eventually, their natural state of dealing with women start to show up later.
What if you ( if you are a man reading this) decided to make your best behavior your natural state?
What if you questioned your behavior when it switches over to the comfort zone and noticed the difference.?
What if when a woman expressed hurtful things you did or discontent with something you actually took the time to consider what she is saying? You didn’t need to defend yourself.
What if it takes a certain amount of awareness to ask yourself if you are a man that you’d admire if you were someone else?
If you were her, would you respect you?
Often times healthy masculinity is so much easier than we make it out to be. Often times we read, get triggered and feelings take over our logical mind and we point outward towards women when we read them.
What if those articles about men aren’t you and you don’t have to identify with them? You might feel good knowing you are not like that. Often times it is just a tiny shift in our thinking.
Something to consider, there might be some truth to them and that is why you are feeling angry and triggered.
What if you didn’t need to protect all men and only worried about your own behaviors and your own integrity. How could reading those articles on Toxic Masculinity not feel so infuriating?
What if you feel good about the articles because you actually can see how men do need, as a whole, to make shifts. It could be a learning experience instead of gas on the fire. You just might be an example to other men! #ConsciouslyAwakeCounseling