Today I’m contemplating how to respond to covert — silence when it is used in place of communication. You know the no answer approach to getting a message across. One problem with that, you only get the “I’m rejecting you message”. You don’t know the why of it, the reason, the possibility of clarity and discussion. Interpersonal relationships it’s a bit different. My current issue is with business.
It is a clear message to me that what I’m hearing is “I’m not mature enough, brave enough, or feel you are worthy enough for a response”.
How so many people, even professionals or “evolved people”, use silence as a means to not have to speak the truth.
The evolved, the aware, and even coaches use this as a covert way to not have to either speak the truth or be held accountable for their responses.
They use it as a form of rejecting or disengaging with someone.
I have a problem with that. I do! Especially with groups or coaches that are in the business of helping people be more honest, aware, accountable and proactive. Honest!
Yet, here it is happening everywhere. Just recently in my attempts to communicate for 2–3 weeks. No responses.
I can’t respect someone that uses covert means to disengage, reject or give a strong message they are no longer part of a system or group. It’s low-level functioning in my opinion.
I believe in clear, honest communications. I walk my talk. If someone asks, I give the most honest response I can give.
In the arena of authenticity, how else does one communicate?
Don’t tell me that just giving silent, passive-aggressive communications is evolved. I do not buy it. Not in my education and experience. It isn’t!
What it is — is a way to “be kind” in their minds to not say things and maintain that level of “public image”. You can’t be held liable if you just don’t say anything right? That is the mentality.
In Brene’ Brown’s books she speaks of living wholeheartedly by holding people accountable and speaking the truth.
I do that, even with the uncomfortable conversations. A person is deserving of at the very least a truthful response.
It’s different if you have given a response and been honest and the person still wants to argue or engage in unproductive communications. Then silence at times is the way you have to back up a boundary.
Just to use silence as a way to give a STRONG message of rejection so you don’t have to be honest and respond isn’t being evolved. It’s being inauthentic, dishonest and covert.
It’s an avoidance behavior and unfortunately, it is used so often in today’s world. That doesn’t make it professional or mature.
Everyone is deserving of the truth. If you aren’t mature enough to communicate it then you are the one with the issue.
❤ Ponder it!
❤ Lisa Hawkins #ConsciouslyAwakeCoun